DX > cavalier/focus
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From: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, US
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DX > cavalier/focus
I've noticed many times when I take the DX out to go somewhere, I often run into encounters where I wish I'd had the S2000. This is NOT one of those encounters, as I think it's much funnier being in my DX.
I was on my way home from "visiting" the S2000 today, and was doing a little over the speed limit. Apparently oblivious to the posted limit, a yellow death trap flew up behind me and tried to see if there was enough room for him in my trunk. This yellow car would be referred to as a "ford focus" or as I like to call it, "recallus maximus".
I see a trademark article of clothing on the driver that often spells trouble. High school kinda trouble. Yes, he's wearing a visor. It seems many times, that people wearing visors are often high school homey punks. At least in my encounters they are. I also see this particular recallus maximus has a body kit. I have always thought the front of the focus was ugly. His body kit made it way ugly. Like, rodney-king-style-beating-with-an-ugly-stick, ugly. I also catch an aluminum wing, peeking OVER The top of his hood. As ugly and tall-football shaped focuses are, this genius actually found a wing that would still surpass the height of his focus.
We eventually get to a two lane road, and he continues to draft behind me like Dale Earnhardt Jr. I considered doing a brake check, but I figure if he can't even afford to buy an entire hat, he probably couldn't afford to fix my car either. Finally get stopped at a light, and he cuts off some soccer mom in an SUV just so he can get a lane next to me. The soccer mom is now looking for room in "his" trunk. hehe
I decide to mess with him. I'm not even looking at him, and even though the cross traffic just got the green, I start revving the **** out of my car. Rev rev rev rev. REEEEv.... rev rev. I look over, and the guy has this puppy dog scared look on his face. I give him a big serial killer smile, and continue to rev. Light turns, I launch, the focus punk pees his pants, and I find myself taking a win as far as I'm concerned. Not like he woulda won anyways.
However, all my revving got the attention of a cavalier behind me I had failed to notice before. The cavalier kept up for the most part, and then moved into the lane next to me. I get stopped at another light down the road, this time next to the cavalier. It's green. And it has tons of vinyl on the side. And some chrome double windshield wiper blades. And an Auto Zone sticker. Now I'm the one that's scared.
He has a fat troll in the seat next to him, which I'll assume is what he would call a "girlfriend". Or in this case, "uglyus fatticus maximus". With all that weight holding him down, I bet he couldn't beat me with a 50-shot. I don't rev. I don't launch. And with the light he mashes his automatic cavalier. I pull on him and am able to pass him after about 50mph. I win. And the lowly DX adds another 2 ricer kills from people who should be removed from the gene pool.
I was on my way home from "visiting" the S2000 today, and was doing a little over the speed limit. Apparently oblivious to the posted limit, a yellow death trap flew up behind me and tried to see if there was enough room for him in my trunk. This yellow car would be referred to as a "ford focus" or as I like to call it, "recallus maximus".
I see a trademark article of clothing on the driver that often spells trouble. High school kinda trouble. Yes, he's wearing a visor. It seems many times, that people wearing visors are often high school homey punks. At least in my encounters they are. I also see this particular recallus maximus has a body kit. I have always thought the front of the focus was ugly. His body kit made it way ugly. Like, rodney-king-style-beating-with-an-ugly-stick, ugly. I also catch an aluminum wing, peeking OVER The top of his hood. As ugly and tall-football shaped focuses are, this genius actually found a wing that would still surpass the height of his focus.
We eventually get to a two lane road, and he continues to draft behind me like Dale Earnhardt Jr. I considered doing a brake check, but I figure if he can't even afford to buy an entire hat, he probably couldn't afford to fix my car either. Finally get stopped at a light, and he cuts off some soccer mom in an SUV just so he can get a lane next to me. The soccer mom is now looking for room in "his" trunk. hehe
I decide to mess with him. I'm not even looking at him, and even though the cross traffic just got the green, I start revving the **** out of my car. Rev rev rev rev. REEEEv.... rev rev. I look over, and the guy has this puppy dog scared look on his face. I give him a big serial killer smile, and continue to rev. Light turns, I launch, the focus punk pees his pants, and I find myself taking a win as far as I'm concerned. Not like he woulda won anyways.
However, all my revving got the attention of a cavalier behind me I had failed to notice before. The cavalier kept up for the most part, and then moved into the lane next to me. I get stopped at another light down the road, this time next to the cavalier. It's green. And it has tons of vinyl on the side. And some chrome double windshield wiper blades. And an Auto Zone sticker. Now I'm the one that's scared.
He has a fat troll in the seat next to him, which I'll assume is what he would call a "girlfriend". Or in this case, "uglyus fatticus maximus". With all that weight holding him down, I bet he couldn't beat me with a 50-shot. I don't rev. I don't launch. And with the light he mashes his automatic cavalier. I pull on him and am able to pass him after about 50mph. I win. And the lowly DX adds another 2 ricer kills from people who should be removed from the gene pool.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself....
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From: Columbia, SC, USA
Rep Power: 414 Will you please publish a book of all of your stories. I want to read these to my children in the future. This stuff if great. You are an awsome writer man. I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard.
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From: NH
Rep Power: 0 I am also a big fan of the stories. I can't wait until spring time when your woman is pulled out of the garage and starts bitch smacking ricers left and right. Looking forward to tons of stories and videos. 
Oh and you should definitely have your own forum section for these stories. Kinda like "A day in the life of *** Whooping"
Oh and you should definitely have your own forum section for these stories. Kinda like "A day in the life of *** Whooping"
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From: so cal djmota=oscar
Rep Power: 324 but I figure if he can't even afford to buy an entire hat, he probably couldn't afford to fix my car either. [IMG]i/expressions/laugh2.gif[/IMG][IMG]i/expressions/laugh2.gif[/IMG][IMG]i/expressions/laugh2.gif[/IMG][IMG]i/expressions/laugh2.gif[/IMG][IMG]i/expressions/laugh2.gif[/IMG]
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From: Wood Dale, Illinois, US
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Quote
[hr]Originally posted by: FlyRiceRacer02
Will you please publish a book of all of your stories. I want to read these to my children in the future. This stuff if great. You are an awsome writer man. I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard.[hr]
[hr]Originally posted by: FlyRiceRacer02
Will you please publish a book of all of your stories. I want to read these to my children in the future. This stuff if great. You are an awsome writer man. I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard.[hr]
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From: Bellevue, Washington, US
Rep Power: 0 hahaha that was such a funny story.
"He has a fat troll in the seat next to him, which I'll assume is what he would call a 'girlfriend'. Or in this case, 'uglyus fatticus maximus'."
LOL
nice kills s2000man01
"He has a fat troll in the seat next to him, which I'll assume is what he would call a 'girlfriend'. Or in this case, 'uglyus fatticus maximus'."
LOL
nice kills s2000man01
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[hr]I have always thought the front of the focus was ugly. His body kit made it way ugly. Like, rodney-king-style-beating-with-an-ugly-stick, ugly. [hr]
[hr]I have always thought the front of the focus was ugly. His body kit made it way ugly. Like, rodney-king-style-beating-with-an-ugly-stick, ugly. [hr]
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From: Car Audioville, Quebec, Canada
Rep Power: 0 pretty much any civic can kill a cavy except the Z24's, I've beater Z22 coupe's , a black Sedan with 18" Chrome rims and yellow vinyl galore. I've beaten modded Focus ZX3's which still boggles me how a supposedly lighter car with more torque and HP runs so so slow...
It's pretty sad because with all the weight of my sound deadening alone it's like having a passenger.
Z24's though are pretty fast and pretty much kill me every time
It's pretty sad because with all the weight of my sound deadening alone it's like having a passenger.
Z24's though are pretty fast and pretty much kill me every time
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From: Simpsonville, South Carolina, US
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[hr]Originally posted by: mohawkboom
which still boggles me how a supposedly lighter car with more torque and HP runs so so slow...[hr]
[hr]Originally posted by: mohawkboom
which still boggles me how a supposedly lighter car with more torque and HP runs so so slow...[hr]
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From: , Other, ZEBRA
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[hr]Originally posted by: 2k2civicRAY
Its because it is a Ford[IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-puke.gif[/IMG][hr]
[hr]Originally posted by: 2k2civicRAY
Quote
[hr]Originally posted by: mohawkboom
which still boggles me how a supposedly lighter car with more torque and HP runs so so slow...[hr]
[hr]Originally posted by: mohawkboom
which still boggles me how a supposedly lighter car with more torque and HP runs so so slow...[hr]
