OT: ePimpin' gone horribly wrong (thread/pic/audio clips) *UPDATE*
12-30-2003
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OT: ePimpin' gone horribly wrong (thread/pic/audio clips) *UPDATE* Do NOT meet girls from the internet!!!! 
UPDATE: Jan 2, 2004 - All links are now dead for pics and audio clips. The original thread should still be working.
UPDATED: With 2nd voicemail clip, and pic (all found scattered through the long-*** thread.)
Plus, a whole buncha quotes, hand-selected by me
(see below)
FurBall - Bringin' you the best CRAP out there on the 'net, in one concise, detailed post
imp:
Stolen from CSI forums....
---------------------
OMG, this is one HUGE thread...... You have to read ALL of it, it is so funny The situation may not be the best (Big girls need luvin' too), but the comments are hilarious!
Entire thread: Thread is here, click me
Here's the VoiceMail clip: right click, save as...
Here's the 2nd one: 2nd Voicemail Clip
BEST OF THE BEST QUOTES:
------------------------------------
"Wanna see pics of the ORCA!"
"...we are genetically attracted to good looking people. It keeps us making babies with the right people.....In other words, two fatties just make a fat baby..........."
"I use a cattle prod to keep em away..........just a zap zap is all it takes."
"naww fat girls need loving too, theres a saying , fat girls are like scooters they're fun to ride but you don't want your friends to see you with one."
"lol shamu"
"Nah, I saw body shots. She gained weight, is what happened.
Ok, so she left me 13 voicemails and called my cell phone 43 times non-stop in less than an hour. Yes, that is correct, 43 times. 3 out of the 13 messages were pretty scary psycho comments. I was starting to get a little scared, because she seems like the kind of girl who'd stalk. My buddy picked up the cell and told her she had the wrong number at one point, and she was like WHAT... THE... ****!, and she blew up, and started calling back at a more rapid rate. It's been a couple of hours since she's last called. "
---
Dude 1: Did you talk to her since then?
Dude 2: Not since I said, "I'm going to go grab some sweats and my phone charger..."
Dude 1: go back and say "i finally found them""
----
"Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team"
..... "WingMan <thumbs up>" .... "No, I'm goose"
"if you cant screw a 10, screw two 5's
if you cant screw two 5's, screw the dumb bitch that is willing to screw you."
"id drive back and show up and say wanna bowl and when she says ok turn around and take off again"
"I say drive by her and throw some shrimp at her and say free ***** , free *****!"
"i bet shes hungry now, send her a pizza, its like sending a fine girl flowers shell forgive u"
"ok here is the plan...
go to the store and buy her twinkies... now drive to here apartment and throw one at the door. *THUMP* she will hear it and come running. now throw another one... and another... lead her to your car. Get in the car and start to drive. Now get up to about 50 and throw a twinkie out every 1/4 of a mile... hopfully she will follow...
by the time you get done she will have lost all that weight and be to tired to eat the twinkies...
now you have the hot model chick back ***SCORE*** "
"50 lbs. is a lot.
if you do **** her, you would get all hypnotized...all that blubber jiggling n' ****........might be a good experience."
"theres no one too ugly that a case of beer and a paper bag cant fix"
"[cops song]bad boy bad boy, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do? when that fat bitch comes after you. she aint gonna give you no break, she;ll eat your *** like steeeak...bad boy bad boy whatcha gonna do [/cop song end]"
------
SIDE STORY: "Okay, here is where I may sound shallow or whatever, but this is just one of the things I can't stand. I'm so picky about teeth its not even funny. The more I think about it now, I NEVER saw a picture of him smiling with his teeth showing. They were nasty, bad breath, and it was a huge turnoff. I really felt bad saying "Hey, you are cool and all but can you brush your teeth?""
Response: "i have straight teef, and good breaf"
----------
UPDATE: Jan 2, 2004 - All links are now dead for pics and audio clips. The original thread should still be working.
UPDATED: With 2nd voicemail clip, and pic (all found scattered through the long-*** thread.)
Plus, a whole buncha quotes, hand-selected by me
(see below)FurBall - Bringin' you the best CRAP out there on the 'net, in one concise, detailed post
imp: Stolen from CSI forums....
---------------------
OMG, this is one HUGE thread...... You have to read ALL of it, it is so funny
The situation may not be the best (Big girls need luvin' too), but the comments are hilarious!Entire thread: Thread is here, click me
Here's the VoiceMail clip: right click, save as...
Here's the 2nd one: 2nd Voicemail Clip
Originally posted by SadClown @ SuperHonda.com forums
Wow. Ok, so I've known this girl online for about a year and we decide to meet up. Last weekend was canceled because she had bronchitis, so on a spur of the moment I drove 5 hours to stay the weekend with her after work today. right? NO. I get there at about 10pm and she meets me in her parking lot apartment complex... I see her and her shadow looks, well, BIG. So I get in the car and NOOOO, she's HUGE. Her breasts were like, popping out of her top because of the weight she gained and it made me want to vomit. Plus, it appeared she had three pillows now for a stomach, grr. Right then I was already like ****, what am I going to do... I told her I'd stay until Sunday and it's only Friday night. We end up going bowling and I'm playing it off and being nice, being talkative and such. But, each time I threw the bowling ball at the pins, inside my mind I was thinking of an escape plan. So we go to walmart ( What the ****? ) to get some color for her hair, because she ****ed it up earlier and it was too blonde, then we get back and I'm killing time trying to figure out what I'm going to do. So I'm standing around looking at pictures and the rest of the apartment, and then she's like well you can watch TV while I add the color to my hair and I was like, cool ( and here is where my opportunity came to play ). So I'm like, "Hey, I'm going to go grab my cell phone charger and a pair of sweats from my car, cool?" So I grab my bag and bounce the **** out. So basically, I drove 5 hours there, hung out for 2 some hours, bounced and drove 5 hours back. RIDICULOUS. Not to mention I drove through some crazy *** snowstorm, which was worse on the way back. I feel terrible... but I couldn't stay. I'll probably go to hell now. I'm thinking about calling her or emailing her and telling her I **** myself and was too embarrassed to come back to her place... because she probably thinks some crackhead stabbed me and stole my car. Damn me.
Wow. Ok, so I've known this girl online for about a year and we decide to meet up. Last weekend was canceled because she had bronchitis, so on a spur of the moment I drove 5 hours to stay the weekend with her after work today. right? NO. I get there at about 10pm and she meets me in her parking lot apartment complex... I see her and her shadow looks, well, BIG. So I get in the car and NOOOO, she's HUGE. Her breasts were like, popping out of her top because of the weight she gained and it made me want to vomit. Plus, it appeared she had three pillows now for a stomach, grr. Right then I was already like ****, what am I going to do... I told her I'd stay until Sunday and it's only Friday night. We end up going bowling and I'm playing it off and being nice, being talkative and such. But, each time I threw the bowling ball at the pins, inside my mind I was thinking of an escape plan. So we go to walmart ( What the ****? ) to get some color for her hair, because she ****ed it up earlier and it was too blonde, then we get back and I'm killing time trying to figure out what I'm going to do. So I'm standing around looking at pictures and the rest of the apartment, and then she's like well you can watch TV while I add the color to my hair and I was like, cool ( and here is where my opportunity came to play ). So I'm like, "Hey, I'm going to go grab my cell phone charger and a pair of sweats from my car, cool?" So I grab my bag and bounce the **** out. So basically, I drove 5 hours there, hung out for 2 some hours, bounced and drove 5 hours back. RIDICULOUS. Not to mention I drove through some crazy *** snowstorm, which was worse on the way back. I feel terrible... but I couldn't stay. I'll probably go to hell now. I'm thinking about calling her or emailing her and telling her I **** myself and was too embarrassed to come back to her place... because she probably thinks some crackhead stabbed me and stole my car. Damn me.
BEST OF THE BEST QUOTES:
------------------------------------
"Wanna see pics of the ORCA!"
"...we are genetically attracted to good looking people. It keeps us making babies with the right people.....In other words, two fatties just make a fat baby..........."
"I use a cattle prod to keep em away..........just a zap zap is all it takes."
"naww fat girls need loving too, theres a saying , fat girls are like scooters they're fun to ride but you don't want your friends to see you with one."
"lol shamu"
"Nah, I saw body shots. She gained weight, is what happened.
Ok, so she left me 13 voicemails and called my cell phone 43 times non-stop in less than an hour. Yes, that is correct, 43 times. 3 out of the 13 messages were pretty scary psycho comments. I was starting to get a little scared, because she seems like the kind of girl who'd stalk. My buddy picked up the cell and told her she had the wrong number at one point, and she was like WHAT... THE... ****!, and she blew up, and started calling back at a more rapid rate. It's been a couple of hours since she's last called. "
---
Dude 1: Did you talk to her since then?
Dude 2: Not since I said, "I'm going to go grab some sweats and my phone charger..."
Dude 1: go back and say "i finally found them""
----
"Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team"
..... "WingMan <thumbs up>" .... "No, I'm goose"
"if you cant screw a 10, screw two 5's
if you cant screw two 5's, screw the dumb bitch that is willing to screw you."
"id drive back and show up and say wanna bowl and when she says ok turn around and take off again"
"I say drive by her and throw some shrimp at her and say free ***** , free *****!"
"i bet shes hungry now, send her a pizza, its like sending a fine girl flowers shell forgive u"
"ok here is the plan...
go to the store and buy her twinkies... now drive to here apartment and throw one at the door. *THUMP* she will hear it and come running. now throw another one... and another... lead her to your car. Get in the car and start to drive. Now get up to about 50 and throw a twinkie out every 1/4 of a mile... hopfully she will follow...
by the time you get done she will have lost all that weight and be to tired to eat the twinkies...
now you have the hot model chick back ***SCORE*** "
"50 lbs. is a lot.
if you do **** her, you would get all hypnotized...all that blubber jiggling n' ****........might be a good experience."
"theres no one too ugly that a case of beer and a paper bag cant fix"
"[cops song]bad boy bad boy, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do? when that fat bitch comes after you. she aint gonna give you no break, she;ll eat your *** like steeeak...bad boy bad boy whatcha gonna do [/cop song end]"
------
SIDE STORY: "Okay, here is where I may sound shallow or whatever, but this is just one of the things I can't stand. I'm so picky about teeth its not even funny. The more I think about it now, I NEVER saw a picture of him smiling with his teeth showing. They were nasty, bad breath, and it was a huge turnoff. I really felt bad saying "Hey, you are cool and all but can you brush your teeth?""
Response: "i have straight teef, and good breaf"
----------
Last edited by FurBall; 01-02-2004 at 08:01 AM.
12-30-2003
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oh man...that's the worst.
That sorta happened to me once. She was sending me pics of her sister instead of herself. When I drove up to her building I saw her on the front step and I mashed the gas and got the hell out of there.
That sorta happened to me once. She was sending me pics of her sister instead of herself. When I drove up to her building I saw her on the front step and I mashed the gas and got the hell out of there.
12-30-2003
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Rep Power: 539 man, that message is funny. She just goes on and on and on and on and on and on....
In her last pic she had that Queen Latifa thing going on. You could see the 'Jolly' coming out.
It's almost like a before and after nutri-system add in reverse...
In her last pic she had that Queen Latifa thing going on. You could see the 'Jolly' coming out.
It's almost like a before and after nutri-system add in reverse...
12-31-2003
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Rep Power: 0 I met my GF online...but then again i knew who she was in person already...=b* so i was safe...but man that guy was stupid...i'll never meet up with someone over teh net
12-31-2003
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That gotta be the funniest **** ever. You gotta love how the fat bitch lies, and then bitches to you about her *** is broke, she wasnt pissed she didnt have gas, she was pissed that she couldnt stop at mcdonalds and hit up the dollar menu. Lame ***!!
I had some **** happen to me like that once, except the girl failed to mention she was black and looked like the chick from duece bigalow. (no i couldnt tell on the phone). I pulled up to the movie theatre and she was like you just drove past me, and i was like well who are you, and she was like im walking towards your car. next thing i know this fat chick with a yellow jacket on, looking like a school bus is coming at my civic, i was like oh ****, hung up and bounced. she left me 15 voice mails.
Always i m the chick on a diff screenname and do a back round check.
I had some **** happen to me like that once, except the girl failed to mention she was black and looked like the chick from duece bigalow. (no i couldnt tell on the phone). I pulled up to the movie theatre and she was like you just drove past me, and i was like well who are you, and she was like im walking towards your car. next thing i know this fat chick with a yellow jacket on, looking like a school bus is coming at my civic, i was like oh ****, hung up and bounced. she left me 15 voice mails.
Always i m the chick on a diff screenname and do a back round check.
12-31-2003
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Rep Power: 0 Wow, Great Story! Similar thing happened to me too. I met a hot chick in a hockey tournament down in Pittsburg and we stayed pen pals for about 5 years. My friend and I decided to go for a road trip and visit her at her University. I thought for sure she was gonna be even hotter now than when we first met! But I was totally wrong. She wasnt fat but just not what I was expecting. I was dissapointed to say the least cause I was expecting and hot reunion. We ended up partying for one night and then we bolted. I never spoke to her again.
12-31-2003
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LOL! would have been funny if u pressed "delete"
you did do the wrong thing though man... At least be like, "Hey, Iam sorry but you are not what i expected" then be cool like that or something.
Now, she is going to be home and eating and making her self even fatter because of u!
you did do the wrong thing though man... At least be like, "Hey, Iam sorry but you are not what i expected" then be cool like that or something.
Now, she is going to be home and eating and making her self even fatter because of u!
12-31-2003
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Rep Power: 539 Originally posted by ImPulse
Now, she is going to be home and eating and making her self even fatter because of u!
Now, she is going to be home and eating and making her self even fatter because of u!
12-31-2003
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Rep Power: 0 The same thing happened to me... Met this cool chick, cute pics, we talked on the phone for a while. Then I drove the hour to Miami to hook up and when she opened the door my jaw dislocated... I mean wtf?!? Remember Veruca Salt in ***** Wonka after she ate the grape candy? She had nothing on my girl... I wanted to turn tale and run, but I just couldn't... Funny thing is, I became REALLY good friends with her... then she found a bf and now she won't return my calls... Can you believe that ****?
12-31-2003
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Rep Power: 265 ""if you ever decide to go back, bring food....that'll give you a better chance for her to accept your apology. or if you really don't like her apperance, when shes distracted eating, bust the **** out again.""
hahahahaa.....
hahahahaa.....
12-31-2003
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Rep Power: 539 Originally posted by Clusive
""if you ever decide to go back, bring food....that'll give you a better chance for her to accept your apology. or if you really don't like her apperance, when shes distracted eating, bust the **** out again.""
hahahahaa.....
""if you ever decide to go back, bring food....that'll give you a better chance for her to accept your apology. or if you really don't like her apperance, when shes distracted eating, bust the **** out again.""
hahahahaa.....
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