Whats wrong with me?
Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 
Whats wrong with me? For the past few days I've been kinda depressed and these came to my mind which then went to my pen and paper and now I bring them to you..... Let me know what you think and I'll try to stop acting so EMO
The pain is subsiding,
My body grows numb.
A warm vibrance drops to the deck,
From the soft white flesh.
Faster it flows with each new wound,
As the cuts get deeper.
My body is cold and lifeless,
The wounds remind me of the life thats left.
Trying to stop the bleeding,
And all the pain I feel.
I can't do it on my own,
There is too much anger to put aside.
Please put me out of this misery,
The pool of blood steadily grows.
There's no more numbness and no more pain,
All the vibrance turned dark.
There is no more misery,
It is all over now.
Each piece I cut from this warm flesh,
Relives me from this pain.
Drops of the sweet red blood,
Drip from the tip of the dull blade.
Gushing from the wound in my leg,
The blood starts to gather at my feet.
I wont stop bleeding and I'm getting sleepy.
More thoughts of what you said,
Beg for me to slice deeper into the flesh.
No bandage will ever cover up this wound,
And the blood drawn wont be washed away.
These bloodshot eyes
Burned by my falling tears.
Thoughts of anger and rage,
Fill this suicidal mind.
Theres no turning back,
All I can see is red.
Here it is- my last attempt.
To catch my breath and think things thru.
It's too late for me,
What's done is done.
I hear their screams all around,
As wild confusion fills the air.
Once white walls are now
A brilliant shade of red.
I've painted the town a whole new color,
All because they refused to listed.
Now they all cry in terror and fear,
Over what i have done.
It's all over now,
I can't bring myself back.
Afraid to let go,
Even more to araid to keep hold.
As I fade into the darkness,
Remember I did it all for you.
~Kirsten Renee
The pain is subsiding,
My body grows numb.
A warm vibrance drops to the deck,
From the soft white flesh.
Faster it flows with each new wound,
As the cuts get deeper.
My body is cold and lifeless,
The wounds remind me of the life thats left.
Trying to stop the bleeding,
And all the pain I feel.
I can't do it on my own,
There is too much anger to put aside.
Please put me out of this misery,
The pool of blood steadily grows.
There's no more numbness and no more pain,
All the vibrance turned dark.
There is no more misery,
It is all over now.
Each piece I cut from this warm flesh,
Relives me from this pain.
Drops of the sweet red blood,
Drip from the tip of the dull blade.
Gushing from the wound in my leg,
The blood starts to gather at my feet.
I wont stop bleeding and I'm getting sleepy.
More thoughts of what you said,
Beg for me to slice deeper into the flesh.
No bandage will ever cover up this wound,
And the blood drawn wont be washed away.
These bloodshot eyes
Burned by my falling tears.
Thoughts of anger and rage,
Fill this suicidal mind.
Theres no turning back,
All I can see is red.
Here it is- my last attempt.
To catch my breath and think things thru.
It's too late for me,
What's done is done.
I hear their screams all around,
As wild confusion fills the air.
Once white walls are now
A brilliant shade of red.
I've painted the town a whole new color,
All because they refused to listed.
Now they all cry in terror and fear,
Over what i have done.
It's all over now,
I can't bring myself back.
Afraid to let go,
Even more to araid to keep hold.
As I fade into the darkness,
Remember I did it all for you.
~Kirsten Renee
Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 blah!!!! I cant take this depression crap any more........
With thse eyes I cried, at just the thought of you.
What we had is lost, and later will be forgotten.
From this glass I drank, any poison trying to forget.
We had a good time, but it wasnt worth the pain.
My mind has been made up, although my heart doesnt want to let go.
The avoidance was clear, you didnt want me around.
I've learn to live without you, now you want to come back.
After all you did, with the pain you put me through.
You had left me, when I needed you the most.
Dont act like you care, when all you want is to see me cry.
Here we sit on the bedroom floor,
Staring at each other with nothing new to say.
How did we let our love slip away?
We use to have fun and go out,
Now we cant even look at each other.
So why do we even bother?
Sure we have a few good laughs,
But inside we're dying for something new.
Why cant we go back to where we were before?
All the fighting gets us nowhere,
And all we are left with is a empty void where our love use to be.
So why do we put each other through this torture?
When we know that deep in our hearts,
We dont belong together any longer.
~Kirsten Renee
With thse eyes I cried, at just the thought of you.
What we had is lost, and later will be forgotten.
From this glass I drank, any poison trying to forget.
We had a good time, but it wasnt worth the pain.
My mind has been made up, although my heart doesnt want to let go.
The avoidance was clear, you didnt want me around.
I've learn to live without you, now you want to come back.
After all you did, with the pain you put me through.
You had left me, when I needed you the most.
Dont act like you care, when all you want is to see me cry.
Here we sit on the bedroom floor,
Staring at each other with nothing new to say.
How did we let our love slip away?
We use to have fun and go out,
Now we cant even look at each other.
So why do we even bother?
Sure we have a few good laughs,
But inside we're dying for something new.
Why cant we go back to where we were before?
All the fighting gets us nowhere,
And all we are left with is a empty void where our love use to be.
So why do we put each other through this torture?
When we know that deep in our hearts,
We dont belong together any longer.
~Kirsten Renee
Currently boosted at 0 psi.
iTrader: (2)
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,241
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From: Southern OC, Ca
Rep Power: 0 ^ nice poems, but you gotta do your best to keep all that pain in your poems/writing.
Don't take it out on yourself by doing anything you woudln't normally do; stick with your good friends at this time--the ones you know for a fact will take care of you.
I feel ya... we all do. but things always get better if you make room for them to.
Don't take it out on yourself by doing anything you woudln't normally do; stick with your good friends at this time--the ones you know for a fact will take care of you.
I feel ya... we all do. but things always get better if you make room for them to.
Living Life Turn After Turn
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Posts: 606
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From: SoCal (626)
Rep Power: 255 i go for a drive with the windows and roof opened, heater turned up (on the cold days) and bump up some music. just drive anywhere and everywhere and get lost.... at least thats what works for me
Registered!!
Joined: Mar 2005
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From: ontario, california
Rep Power: 264 
Registered!!
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 195
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From: 909/626/951/562
Rep Power: 246 kris, hope u feel better, if u want to talk, u can talk to me about it, i been thru that, well if u all want to call me an EMO boy go ahead, i dont care, if u need to talk, call me we can talk about it...well hope u feel better soon.
Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 thanks I think I'll be fine for a bit if I can get over this stupid *** who keeps toying with me..... maybe hes the reason I do these self destructive things...(pool, bars, hooters)
JDM $lut
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 658
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From: IE (909)
Rep Power: 0 
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 4,880
Likes: 1
From: socal, corona
Rep Power: 311 you can do my laundry... clean clothes always cheer me up..
while yer at it you can also wash and wax my car..
i promise doing these few things will make you feel 10000% better...
while yer at it you can also wash and wax my car..
i promise doing these few things will make you feel 10000% better...
Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 hahahahhaa thanks i'll get rite on those for ya... blah....
Anyways im doing better today actually told the fu(ker how i felt.... so that is a bit of a.... well no it wasnt kinda made me feel worse.... ack I give up!!!!! i dont think i was made to be happy
Anyways im doing better today actually told the fu(ker how i felt.... so that is a bit of a.... well no it wasnt kinda made me feel worse.... ack I give up!!!!! i dont think i was made to be happy
Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 wow even more depressed today... just got back from my aunts wedding..... was there with my ex.... i was sad i didnt get to dance all i did was sit there looking depressed and drink.......
Living Life Turn After Turn
iTrader: (13)
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 606
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From: SoCal (626)
Rep Power: 255 think about it this way... with this depression, honestly, it can only get better. and when it does it'll be great, just gotta wait it out. every day is another chance to try to make life better. dont think of it as another day of sadness. it can only get better!
Thread Starter
First 2004 Civic With A R34 Kit
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,208
Likes: 0
From: WESTMINSTER, CA
Rep Power: 279 ^^^ easy for you to say...... I've had depression all my life it only gets worse.... i have no clue why either... I have my good days, i have my bad days, then there are the days when I want to literally kill myself and have come close many times......
