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I (my wife) has an 02 EX sedan with an automatic trans. I drive it about a third of the time, otherwise it's her commuter to work, running the kid around, ect. It handles OK, nice ride, but it just has terminal understeer and rolls a lot. I'd like to do something suspension wise to flatten the cornering and dial out some of the understeer, but keep the ride nice for her. She'll never push the car hard enough to tell that I've done something, but dropping it is out of the question due to winter driving, budget, and her intolerance for "sporty" riding cars. Any suggestions for where to start would be nice to hear. I'm gonna do some 16's and better tires to. I just need this thing to be somehow fun for me to drive.

 
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I say you should get the RSX rear sway bar and a neuspeed front strut bar. Those two made my car feel much more stable overall. Everything else on my car was stock.

 
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keep in mind bigger rims (and thinner tires) she will notice for sure. the ride will be much rougher and you will feel more of the road. i dont think i would be able to handle anything above 15s and i only have a 1 inch drop. worthwhile mods other than those mentioned above me are new ES poly sway bar bushings for front and rear, and upgraded endlinks if you are hard on the suspension. ES poly LCA bushings are really nice, but she would notice the squeaking noises in winter (otherwise they do not really affect the ride quality, only improves higher speed cornering and keeps alignment better). you could also look at getting better tires with more grip when the old ones need replacing. that would make the most difference, altho sway and strut bars help too.