When Men Don't Listen
Thread Starter
My Spidersense's Tingling
Joined: Aug 2002
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From: GTA, Ontario, Canada
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When Men Don't Listen
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it was occupied. A female flight attendant, aware of the traveler's predicament, suggested he use the attendants' ladies' room but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.
When he arrived in the attendants' ladies' room, he noticed that next to the toilet paper rolls, there were four buttons marked: WW, WA, PP, and ATR. His curiosity got the best of him and he disregarded what she said. He carefully pressed the WW button, and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed onto his bare bottom.
He thought, "Wow, these gals really have it nice!" So a little more boldly, he pressed the WA button, and body temperature warm air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably.
"Ahh," he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!" So he pushed the next button, PP, with anticipation. A soft, disposable powder puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc.
"Man, this is great!" he thought as he reached out for the ATR button.
When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off. Confused, he buzzed the nurse to find out what had happened. He explained that the last thing he remembered was intense pain in the ladies' room of the plane.
The nurse explained, "Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the 'Automatic Tampon Removal' button."
When he arrived in the attendants' ladies' room, he noticed that next to the toilet paper rolls, there were four buttons marked: WW, WA, PP, and ATR. His curiosity got the best of him and he disregarded what she said. He carefully pressed the WW button, and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed onto his bare bottom.
He thought, "Wow, these gals really have it nice!" So a little more boldly, he pressed the WA button, and body temperature warm air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably.
"Ahh," he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!" So he pushed the next button, PP, with anticipation. A soft, disposable powder puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc.
"Man, this is great!" he thought as he reached out for the ATR button.
When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off. Confused, he buzzed the nurse to find out what had happened. He explained that the last thing he remembered was intense pain in the ladies' room of the plane.
The nurse explained, "Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the 'Automatic Tampon Removal' button."
Thread Starter
My Spidersense's Tingling
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,050
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From: GTA, Ontario, Canada
Rep Power: 0 Just one more:
The Surgery
A man was in a terrible accident, leaving his "manhood" mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could restore his *****, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3,500 for "small," $6,500 for "medium" and $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. So the man called his wife and explained their options.
The doctor returned to the room and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
The Surgery
A man was in a terrible accident, leaving his "manhood" mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could restore his *****, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3,500 for "small," $6,500 for "medium" and $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. So the man called his wife and explained their options.
The doctor returned to the room and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
Thread Starter
My Spidersense's Tingling
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,050
Likes: 0
From: GTA, Ontario, Canada
Rep Power: 0 OK just last one....IMO this one is the best one..I posted it awhile back but I think everyone missed it..
Who Loves Jesus?
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The other day I went to the local religious bookstore, where I saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought at the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "Go Jesus Christ, Go!!!"
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window, and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a "sunny beach," and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like "Mother trucker" or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and began walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, so I stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there, leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile, and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.
Who Loves Jesus?
-----------------------
The other day I went to the local religious bookstore, where I saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought at the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "Go Jesus Christ, Go!!!"
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window, and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a "sunny beach," and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like "Mother trucker" or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and began walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, so I stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there, leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile, and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.
Registered!!
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 758
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From: Toronto
Rep Power: 0 LOL i understand but they way u said it..not perverted...
should have been something like :
energizer bunnie...keep on going n going
ride you like a horse <--sounds more right?
should have been something like :
energizer bunnie...keep on going n going
ride you like a horse <--sounds more right?
Originally posted by Booohahaha
in case u didnt know that means i gotz the stamina... just like energizer bunny ... keeps going and going and going!!!!
in case u didnt know that means i gotz the stamina... just like energizer bunny ... keeps going and going and going!!!!
Originally posted by player
theres only one thing to say, if u chinease people dont have much to offer, then WHY THE HELL R U MORE THEN A BILLION PEOPLE
theres only one thing to say, if u chinease people dont have much to offer, then WHY THE HELL R U MORE THEN A BILLION PEOPLE
i rest my case hahahaha.. thanks for the back up!!!
u got it wrong
no satisfacyion = women wont want any
women dont want any = small population
lol
or maybe there is the other possiblity that every single chinease man is .......... so chinease ladies dont know any better and are satisfied enough by that.
no satisfacyion = women wont want any
women dont want any = small population
lol
or maybe there is the other possiblity that every single chinease man is .......... so chinease ladies dont know any better and are satisfied enough by that.
Registered!!
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 758
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From: Toronto
Rep Power: 0 THANKS LOL
Originally posted by player
or maybe there is the other possiblity that every single chinease man is .......... so chinease ladies dont know any better and are satisfied enough by that.
or maybe there is the other possiblity that every single chinease man is .......... so chinease ladies dont know any better and are satisfied enough by that.
