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Since Spidey started it, I'm going to post a situation here, and you guys tell me what you would do.

I've been with my current GF for almost 3 years now. Things have been going well, we've been through many things together. School, finding work, working, as well as the troubles of running businesses (long story). We've met through a friend and didn't get together until back then I decided to dump my ex GF then and start a new relationship. Though I don't have a strong strong feeling with her, we've gotten through a lot and seem to be pretty compatible.

Here's the problem. All through the years, I've been in contact with my ex-ex-ex GF, who I always had some feel for. Back then we were young, and somehow we just seperated. Throughout the years we just met a couple of times a year to catch up, etc. So lately she's been getting some bad treatment from her current BF, and I've seen her a bit more often when she wasn't happy. Well, yesterday we had lunch, and she came by my house to visit my puppy, and we just talked, and suddenly it just dawned. Apparently she also still has strong feelings for me. All along I thought it was one-way, since everytime I tried to get back with her she always has this thing she says about how "relationship ends, friendships last forever" kinda thing. Well, after 2 hours of quality time spent (no nasty stuff, really, just sweet talk) it's become apparent that we're still deeply in love.

Now, the problem is, as I've described to her, it's now very "difficult" because we both had several years of life that we've built up... Problem one being, I've been with my current GF together for so long, we've got plans and even the "M" word somewhere in the future. Life is steady. Problem two, I've also invested a lot of emotion and ahem, financial, to my GF now, and I cannot imagine turning away now. But on the other hand. I think if I leave it as it is now, I will always know in the back of my heart that I've missed out on the absolute most wonderful girl, the strongest feelings I have towards...

All along, I've been discussing with my best friend (before this ordeal) that in the next while I have to decide whether I will continue in life with my GF (because we have some personality conflicts, 5% of the time, maybe) or move on... And now it's up on a 50/50 duel as to whether I should go with what's practical or go with what feels right (but might be very difficult to go through).

 
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ouch.... ........do you think feelings for your ex ex ex gf ..might just be because ur getting too comfy with ur current gf n is gettin bored? need a change?
and being compatible with someone doesnt mean you gotta stay with them..you can be compatible but not see the future or love 'em

you follow?

 
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Yeah I agree with the fact that, beign compatible with someone doesn't mean you love that person.....
I guess I would just tell you go with which every one you truly love the most.

Just make sure you don;t just say you love ur ex ex ex gf more because you havne't seen her for a long time. I am not saying you are getting bored of ur current girl..but....I don't know....I guess you just got to make up your mind, who you LOVE more.....

 
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If you're debating between what's pratical and what feels right, it's not really 50/50 then is it. It always makes more sense to go with what the heart says.
The real question is, do you truley love your g/f? Would you risk something you have now for something that could be? Choosing the latter could be the best decision you've ever made or, it could flop and s**t could hit the fan leaving you with nothing in the end.
It's a tough decision and I'm sure there's more behind the story then what you've told us so I can't tell you what I would do. Only you can make that decision.

 
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is it possible to love someone but yet be thinking of someone else?

i mean...seeing a hot a chick walk by n saying oh f**k she's hot ..that's one thing..but to be thinking you want a relationship with another chick....thats different

 
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man, that's hard... but i'd just say go with what your heart says...even if it means loosing both sides becuase later on in life, u will regret this!!

(don't worry man, i've got relationship problems as well... sigh~ but that's a whole diff thread... hehe)
hope everything turns out ok for u!! good luck!

 
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money invested?? and 3 years??
thats NOTHING to worry about considering you can always make more money and if this ex ex ex is the right one you'll be with her a lot longer than 3 years!

go to the ex ex ex

 
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first of all don't post this up here..reason being...only you know what you feel...you are basically looking for reinforcement....thats all...dude its good to get advice..from ppl...but situations like this...its ALL YOU!! only you know the truth...nobody here knows it...by the sound of it..you have a good thing with your girl now....don't let an ex who is vulnerable...get you all confused.....just do what you think is right...remember you were with ...or are with your girl for at least 3 years now...so there must be some strong chemistry......remember...think with the big head...not just the little head....hope that helps....and can i get some CDR's from you...lol...playin..

 
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take it from stillmatik...he's a ROMANTIC!
he's practically married already....yo, call me, wanna do some audio work today [IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/IMG]

 
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hmm... im glad you posted this, because i can tell you exactly what to do[IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/IMG]
im the most romantic guy in the world...
do this...
exexexgf in one room
current gf in the same room
and then....

3some[IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/IMG] hehe... isn't that romantic? hehe

 
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if honestly...that works...he'll be one lucky man

 
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hey if it works, video tape it and we'll watch it in my car [IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/IMG] for everyone to see at the meet[IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/IMG]
it's all good.. you still have 2 weeks until the meet

 
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Sounds like a tough situation buddy. Let your heart guide the way.

I hope everything works out for ya.

If you manage to pull off the 3some and tape it, I am calling shotgun in FlippedOuts car to watch. haha

 
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screw shotgun watching it in FlippedOut's car

i rather be the director of the taping [IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/IMG]

 
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i wanna see the director's cut...
special addition.
i'll direct the director

 
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that's some serious issue you are dealing with MSOFT...
like everyone says here, only YOU can make that decision. Because there are still many questions that you need to clear up if you were to decide for something like this...
1) Are you sure that the feelings you are having with your exexex is real or just the fact that it's something different from what you've been having for 3 years now.
2) 3 years is a long time, something must be there to make it last.
3) With #2 in mind, 3 years doesn't necessarily mean it's the right way to go... you might be there just because it's been so long and it'd be a waste to let go now.
4) jumping on to another boat is a very risky maneuver. You might end up losing both if let's say your exexex decides in the end that you two were really not meant to be.
5) I can go on and on... there's alot of things to consider for decisions like this

The only advice that I can give you is...
"Whatever it is you decide on doing, do it with a full heart. Don't look back and ponder on what could have been. It won't do you any good, if anything it'll make your relationship sour. Do it soon before it's too late because whether you like it or not, YOU ARE HURTING the relationship that you have right now if you chose to stay."

Deep thoughts by Cue2k1!!! [IMG]i/expressions/laugh2.gif[/IMG]

 
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sorry.. had to do it...

 
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Yah, it's gonna be a tough choice... I just wanted to see what ppl say about a situation like this. I don't think the threesome idea (no matter how cool that sounds) will work, LOL.

Marc, I've got your CD's, they're in my trunk, we can meet up later tonight, 9~10. Call me then.

 
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HAHAHA you guys are jokers! you guys must be bored.... that or really horny! hehehe

 
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M Soft:

You've got a big heart. It sounds like you really do love your ex ex ex... the only thing I can say is that although you've been with your current gf for 3 years, really, its more than compatibility in the end. What I mean is that although 3 years is a LONG time, life is full of risks. If you really think you love your ex, then do what your heart tells you to do. And although sometimes taking risks means that you might suffer consequences for it, a risk may also have a postive outcome. If you're sure you're not just bored of your current relationship and you really do love your ex, then take that risk, you know it just might be worth it in the end, and really, you will never know unless you try. On the other hand, you do have to consider your current gf's feelings as well, since you've both invested a lot into your relationship. In the end, you should follow what your heart tells you to do.

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck. The best decisions are also the most difficult ones....

good luck
*Little Maytag

 
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i guess here's the risk ur taking:

break up and have a sad ending of a reLationship to begin another happy reLationship (which is not gauranteed). However, if u r happy now and decide to carry it to the end, then there is no risk.

Cue pretty much described aLL the things u need to consider.

G'Luck Dude!

 
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hmmm or both

 
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well, i agree with everyone here.

but if you think about it, if there wasn't a problem in the first place, why would you and the ex ex ex gf break up? and if there was really a problem, i dun think it's going to be sovled now. not trying to say anything harsh, but there's got to be a reason for anyone to break up, a problem that either they DONT want to solve, or they CANT solve.

just my 0.02 cents. [IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/IMG]

 
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I think the exexex was a loong time ago... therefore, the other reason could be that they were young. Now when you're more mature it's different. Different needs and wants and especially different PRIORITIES!

 
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i think i know what u mean about the "change".... lately i have been thinking about that in my relationship.... things are getting more serious with my girlfriend... and with that comes doubts....

 
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lol......from what i've seen......sorry to generalize...from my experience...guys are so afraid to commit.......
and even when they are...they want booty on the side.......just cause the girl is not giving enuff or they want to "experience"...i'm not saying you guys are *******s.......i'm just saying whats with that syndrome?

 
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I might be wrong, but it seems like you are holding on to your current GF because of the time that u've been with her, I personally think that you should not stay with someone if they dont make u truly happy. LoL i'm not the best with relationship solutions so yah....

 
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Donny knows me so well! Even though we've only met once, LOL.

Yes, that is the flip side of the coin. My exexex was ex-ed six years ago. We were still in school (she still is), and things were quite different then. We didn't break up because of any problems in particular, but because it just couldn't happen with all the things going on in life then. Now that we've matured over the few years, and the sudden relization that we actually have strong feelings for each other (I was initially under the impression that I had more feelings for her than she had for me, back then, that was why all along I never did try to get back togther with her even though she's the only girl that has given me that magnitude of chemistry), and the feeling, she admitted on Wednesday, was mutual.

So that's why I am at a dilemma. I'm not saying I don't feel for my current GF. If anything, we were going well. It's like, I've got a civic with lots of mods, I like 95% of everything, and then some annoyances that I'm willing to live with. And now, I have a chance to own a 350Z, but thing is, I don't know how well that fits into my life (having to travel/drive the car as a beater in the winter), plus I don't know if I can afford to start modding another car (LOL), etc. I mean, hey, things could go well, on one hand, that if I did decide to upgrade to a new car, that I get a raise at work and I can afford it, and it goes well, or I could be laid off work and end up losing the 350Z too!! So it's a double-edge swd I'm holding now. Do I stab myself with one end, and life the rest of my life knowing I've purposely missed out on something so that I don't cause a huge change, or do I stab myself with the other end and break a heart and venture into the unknown... [IMG]i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif[/IMG]

 
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Well in that case I would pick the 350Z...it's sad to let the civic go....but it's 350Z man!

LOL..seriously...like......if I were you......depends how ur current gf is.....
like if that happen to me....I just can't break up with my current girl..coz I know she will literally die if I did that.........like...I mean..it is true you got to go with what ur heart tell you...but...sometimes it is just so hard to break up with somebody that is so deeply inlove with you....just so hard....but on the other hand you got to suffer from being not as happy.....

that's tough......