Breakin' rocks in the hot sun...
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... I fought the law and the law won.
So a couple months ago I went camping with some friends in a wonderful little mountain town called Lake Isabella, up in the beautiful Bakersfield area (previous sentence is laced with sarcasm). This place boasts a booming population of 4,300 white trash dirtrats. What is up with mountain towns and their meth-addicted inhabitants? I hate them. But I digress.
Anyway, on the way up there I got a ticket for speeding. Yes, I know, everyone is shocked. Apparently this CHiP had been smoking crack, just like everyone else up there. I was doing over 100mph, posted was 60mph. He said he radar'd me at 86 in a 55. I felt like saying, "55 was the truck speed limit, Cracky." but I kept my mouth shut. He said,
"How about I write you for ten over."
"Okay, sounds good."
So he writes me for 75 in a 65. So to recap, I was doing at -least- 86 in a 60, he says I'm doing 86 in a 55 and then writes me for 75 in a 65. Smoke less crack, buddy.
Here in The People's Socialist Republic of Kalifornia, you're allowed to take traffic school every 18 months. I missed eligibility by about 2 weeks. I called the court clerk and asked for TS anyway, she told me I couldn't take it, but if I wanted to pay by mail it would be $195. I figured I would just go ask the judge for traffic school and be done with it. It's worked for me in the past.
So yesterday I took the day off work and got up at three frickin' thirty AM to drive the 200 miles to go see the judge. I got dressed in some nice slacks, a white shirt and a tie. I get to the court and everyone there is dressed like white trash dirtrats. Shorts, bedroom slippers, backwards baseball caps... what the **** ever happened to some respect for the court? Anyway, I stuck out a little bit.
My time in front of His Honorness came and I said,
"I'm prepared to enter a guilty plea if I can have a court assignment to traffic school."
"Oh, so this is one of those conditional pleas? The question was, guilty or not guilty."
so I pondered a couple seconds, decided to take a gamble and entered a guilty plea.
He said,
"I'm going to deny your request for traffic school. I am imposing a fine of $540 and I'm going to suspend your license for 30 days."
I felt like saying, "Thank you, Sir. May I have another? Are you about done, because I'm going to go get some Astro Glide now." But I kept my mouth shut.
I had to hand my license to one of the nice deputies, who confiscated it. Then another deputy had me sign a paper saying I realize they confiscated it. So now I have two deputies who know I have no license, and they expect me to drive 200 miles home? Wonderful. That was a nice stress-free drive.
The license thing sucks, and that will wreak havoc on my insurance I'm sure, but at this point I'm a little more unhappy with the fine imposed. Not everyone is made of money, like His Wonderfulness.
Lessons learned:
A) Cops and judges are not your friends. They only time you ever see one is when they want to nail you with something, and they're never around when you need them. I used to be a big supporter of law enforcement, but when all I see is fat motorcycle cops radaring people all day long and cops pulling random kids over to check for aftermarket parts, I get a little jaded. Screw them.
B) Steer clear of po-dunk towns who like to get funding from exorbitant traffic fees. Asshats.
C) Traffic court is all about money. (No news there.)
D) Lady Justice is a *****. (Refer to C.)
So a couple months ago I went camping with some friends in a wonderful little mountain town called Lake Isabella, up in the beautiful Bakersfield area (previous sentence is laced with sarcasm). This place boasts a booming population of 4,300 white trash dirtrats. What is up with mountain towns and their meth-addicted inhabitants? I hate them. But I digress.
Anyway, on the way up there I got a ticket for speeding. Yes, I know, everyone is shocked. Apparently this CHiP had been smoking crack, just like everyone else up there. I was doing over 100mph, posted was 60mph. He said he radar'd me at 86 in a 55. I felt like saying, "55 was the truck speed limit, Cracky." but I kept my mouth shut. He said,
"How about I write you for ten over."
"Okay, sounds good."
So he writes me for 75 in a 65. So to recap, I was doing at -least- 86 in a 60, he says I'm doing 86 in a 55 and then writes me for 75 in a 65. Smoke less crack, buddy.
Here in The People's Socialist Republic of Kalifornia, you're allowed to take traffic school every 18 months. I missed eligibility by about 2 weeks. I called the court clerk and asked for TS anyway, she told me I couldn't take it, but if I wanted to pay by mail it would be $195. I figured I would just go ask the judge for traffic school and be done with it. It's worked for me in the past.
So yesterday I took the day off work and got up at three frickin' thirty AM to drive the 200 miles to go see the judge. I got dressed in some nice slacks, a white shirt and a tie. I get to the court and everyone there is dressed like white trash dirtrats. Shorts, bedroom slippers, backwards baseball caps... what the **** ever happened to some respect for the court? Anyway, I stuck out a little bit.
My time in front of His Honorness came and I said,
"I'm prepared to enter a guilty plea if I can have a court assignment to traffic school."
"Oh, so this is one of those conditional pleas? The question was, guilty or not guilty."
so I pondered a couple seconds, decided to take a gamble and entered a guilty plea.
He said,
"I'm going to deny your request for traffic school. I am imposing a fine of $540 and I'm going to suspend your license for 30 days."
I felt like saying, "Thank you, Sir. May I have another? Are you about done, because I'm going to go get some Astro Glide now." But I kept my mouth shut.
I had to hand my license to one of the nice deputies, who confiscated it. Then another deputy had me sign a paper saying I realize they confiscated it. So now I have two deputies who know I have no license, and they expect me to drive 200 miles home? Wonderful. That was a nice stress-free drive.
The license thing sucks, and that will wreak havoc on my insurance I'm sure, but at this point I'm a little more unhappy with the fine imposed. Not everyone is made of money, like His Wonderfulness.
Lessons learned:
A) Cops and judges are not your friends. They only time you ever see one is when they want to nail you with something, and they're never around when you need them. I used to be a big supporter of law enforcement, but when all I see is fat motorcycle cops radaring people all day long and cops pulling random kids over to check for aftermarket parts, I get a little jaded. Screw them.
B) Steer clear of po-dunk towns who like to get funding from exorbitant traffic fees. Asshats.
C) Traffic court is all about money. (No news there.)
D) Lady Justice is a *****. (Refer to C.)
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sucks that you got that hugeass fine though. good luck with getting around w/out your license. and have fun with your new corolla. (drop it!)
sucks that you got that hugeass fine though. good luck with getting around w/out your license. and have fun with your new corolla. (drop it!)
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Rep Power: 284 That sucks man. I was nailed with a reckless driving ticket in Sussex County, VA because he says I was driving 82 in a 65. There were plenty of cars passing me but I guess my car was the most noticeable.
Didn't want to drive all the way down to go to court so I just paid it by mail and stomached the points. People told me I should go contest it but I know they take speeding seriously down there and I didn't want to face worse fines or punishments. Can't believe the judge screwed you over like that...
Anyways, "asshat" and "dirtrat" are definitely two terms I will have to add to my daily speech...heh
Didn't want to drive all the way down to go to court so I just paid it by mail and stomached the points. People told me I should go contest it but I know they take speeding seriously down there and I didn't want to face worse fines or punishments. Can't believe the judge screwed you over like that...
Anyways, "asshat" and "dirtrat" are definitely two terms I will have to add to my daily speech...heh
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Originally Posted by WD40
Okay... what's that got to do with me?
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Rep Power: 0 I don't know if any other states do this, but in Louisiana you can pay an extra $50 so nothing goes on your record. The city of New Orleans is pretty well known for it's corruption. I went to court last week for 86 in a 60 (wife), of course everyone was speeding but she got pulled over....I go to court, they cut us a "dea"l (I thought cause I'm in the Navy and was in uniform) and say pay the $200 fine and we won't put this on your record (she has a MD license, so I don't even really know if it would ever make it on her record), so I go to pay the fine, and the lady says $250 sir. I was like the ticket is $200, lady said you have to pay us $50 to keep this off your record. Unfortunately I had things to do and didn't have time to wait in line to complain, so I paid and left..
Last edited by 04CivicFPB; 08-03-2004 at 10:28 PM.
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Those officers really make me feel safe now that an honest, hardworking civic owner is off the streets for a whopping 30 day window.
By the way, amazing point about how most of our "peace preservers" have turned into sluggish fat motorcyclists that wouldn't be capable of bringing down a household kitty kat from a tree [that's why they summon the firemen].
On the other hand, many officers do their job right, and to those, I send my gratitude.
Those officers really make me feel safe now that an honest, hardworking civic owner is off the streets for a whopping 30 day window.
By the way, amazing point about how most of our "peace preservers" have turned into sluggish fat motorcyclists that wouldn't be capable of bringing down a household kitty kat from a tree [that's why they summon the firemen].
On the other hand, many officers do their job right, and to those, I send my gratitude.
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Rep Power: 0 When I was younger, I wanted to be one of those ticket writing *******s who served and protected. So far I haven't seen anything except a bunch of greedy bastards. For me anyways, the local judge knows me by name, not a good thing, and recognises my face. Maybe I've been given a couple of tickets.
Anyways my worst ticket was 86 in a 60, just past a construction zone. 25mph and up is a felony in ohio apperently, dude said I wasn't gonna go to jail because I was out of state. not to mention, have you ever been sworn at by a police officer?????? let me tell you, that's not fun......especially when he's got his hand on his gun the entire time. my fine was 150 and i don't know if it went on my licence.
Anyways my worst ticket was 86 in a 60, just past a construction zone. 25mph and up is a felony in ohio apperently, dude said I wasn't gonna go to jail because I was out of state. not to mention, have you ever been sworn at by a police officer?????? let me tell you, that's not fun......especially when he's got his hand on his gun the entire time. my fine was 150 and i don't know if it went on my licence.
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Originally Posted by wildkingdom007
When I was younger, I wanted to be one of those ticket writing *******s who served and protected. So far I haven't seen anything except a bunch of greedy bastards. For me anyways, the local judge knows me by name, not a good thing, and recognises my face. Maybe I've been given a couple of tickets.
Anyways my worst ticket was 86 in a 60, just past a construction zone. 25mph and up is a felony in ohio apperently, dude said I wasn't gonna go to jail because I was out of state. not to mention, have you ever been sworn at by a police officer?????? let me tell you, that's not fun......especially when he's got his hand on his gun the entire time. my fine was 150 and i don't know if it went on my licence.
Anyways my worst ticket was 86 in a 60, just past a construction zone. 25mph and up is a felony in ohio apperently, dude said I wasn't gonna go to jail because I was out of state. not to mention, have you ever been sworn at by a police officer?????? let me tell you, that's not fun......especially when he's got his hand on his gun the entire time. my fine was 150 and i don't know if it went on my licence.
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