badodyssey

…and gets his *** kicked!

I know this has nothing to do with EP’s, but it’s a Honda story, and I know many of you have asked about the car in question….or should I say “van”?

I know the locations may sound similar, Ohio 80, the turnpike, but once I take that almost everyday to work which is 45 miles away, most of the ‘fun’ happens there. I drive the nitrous fed 2000 Odyssey rarely to work. Too many miles and it has to last me way too long!

This particular morning, a warm, late summer date in 2004, I had just replaced the audio system in the van, again! And was blasting something lively, I think it was Rob Zombie if memory serves me. I had the window down a bit; I don’t run full down unless it’s REALLY warm out.

It was a leisurely morning drive. Had the cruise on, radio on, just chilling…

I was about 37 miles in of the 45 when I saw it ahead. I instantly go into “track down mode” when I see my prey. Slowly increase my speed, without being obvious…track without tracking…it’s an art I have mastered over my 39 odd years.

This victim was special to me actually. I’d seen them, heard about them (not sure it was good though), TRIED to test drive one…don’t ask…and finally did get to drive one a few months before this ‘incident’. The car in question was a 2004 Nissan Sentra SPEC-V, silver…that’s about all I had to add to that one.

The car wasn’t overly impressive on my drive. I had one on our lot with about 8k miles on it and was itching to compare it to the Si. No comparison, BTW. Low end torque aplenty, but weezing out on the upper end was par for the course. Felt loose, cheap and just adequate at best. But not bad for low to midrange power.

In my van however I was a bit…nervous? Maybe not quite the word, but just was curious as to what would happen. Heck, was curious if he’d even bite!

I eased into the accelerator, closing the gap on my unsuspecting prey. And believe me, he had NO idea, I’m in a minivan for crying out loud! I slowly moved in…my trick is to non-chalantly pass someone, hoping they’ll bite…it’s just more fun that way. This time was different though…I looked over, caught his eye, and then gave the pedal a little nudge.

There was no one in front of him, and we were coming on the section of the turnpike that goes from 2 to 3 lanes. This is great as there is no ‘turnaround’ for police officers to catch you. He stepped on it, passing me slowly. I let into it more…ok, I hammered it!

The aging odyssey 4 speed took a few seconds to click down a few notches. But when it does, all hell breaks loose! I heard the VTEC engage and as the tics on the speedo grew, so did my velocity. I love VTEC…the faster you go…the FASTER you go! The howl from the intake grew in volume, as the speed did. I stopped his forward progression…the SPEC-V about ½ car length in front of me…and I was closing!

I shot past his rear bumper, so I was on his passenger side. I had ideas. And to my surprise, I easily pulled up next to him. Now mind you…the startled look on his face…then the look of panic…that was priceless! The guy really had a “oh ****!” look on his mug. And damn if it wasn’t the funniest thing I’d seen in a while!

I ‘jogged’ up his right side…passing the rear door, front door…as I edged on his fender, I rolled down the window, stretched my arm out the open hole, pointed a long finger at him, then proceeded to point to my door. Why you may ask? LOL…believe me, I’ll tell you!

On the door of my van I have the coolest thing. Last year I found something very neat in one of my mags. Mini had an ad. The ad had ‘kill’ stickers, black silhouettes of cars, and you can put them on your ‘mini’. Well……

I had about a dozen on the van door, top left corner below the mirror. Mostly an inside joke, mostly because it just looked cool. And talk about a conversation piece! Everyone I see “hey, what are those for?” it’s great.

So, as I point to him, and then to my door, I mouth “you’ll be right here” my finger landing on an empty spot, right next to the silhouette of a Viper, and ease the van past him. Not quite like he was standing still…but damn, just as the shocked looked was on his face…it was on mine! I just WHOOPED a SPEC-V, in a minivan, with NO nitrous! Hehehe…damn, this is fun.