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Joey needs A LOT of help. (mental, physical, psychological)
okay, i dont have the whole story nor will i type it all out here, but i need words of encouragement just to even go on with life right now. i feel like sh!t, all covered in sh!t....no lie.
my ex hates me and will not come down from it (i spoke to her tonite @ the meet in UCF area VERY briefly).
some of my friends have all but bailed on me becuz of this situation.
im prolly about to be in debt if one of my soon-to-be-ex-friend's does what they are threatening.
my car sucks.
my life sucks.
im going nowhere very fast.
i need help. i dont mean to be funny by any means, but i think this is serious and might be a "professional's" job. idk. ive never felt more horrible in my entire life combined. i fvcked up more than any1 can ever imagine is possible and there is no turning back. i cant get her to forget the situation, and i cant forget her. im so stuck right now. i cant go on much longer. i ALMOST hit 100 on university driving blindly without care for others on the road or the possibility of police. im so gone.
love is a MOTHERFVCKING B!TCH! thats all i can say. i really cant think of what to do to fix this issue except removing myself from it. however, i know that will complicate things further and i dont want to do that. i think ive done faaar more than enuf of that bullsh!t to date. ugh, im such a waste of a human being. a mistake. a misfortune........I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!
i dont deserve a girl like Jen. i dont deserve the friends i have and the ones i have left. i dont deserve to be around any more. you guys dont deserve to even be hearing this. but unfortunately, this is my last resort. posting all my sorrows in my EasyJournal has only gotten myself into more trouble. so this is the ONLY forum she doesnt know about; therefore cannot b!tch about me posting in. (OrlandoForums.com, INTMO.com, GainesvilleRacing.com, EvolutionM.net are all out now.)
my first ever love in my lifetime, my virginity was taken, i was only allowed 3 months and 19 days with her till she got bored and moved onto some douchebag (Tony) in Gainesville, and to boot; i MAY have been cheated on back in November before i was OFFICIALLY broken up with in December. how's that for some sh!t to think about? whether or not your GF @ the time cheated on you without you knowing it. i found out this information thru an informant that came forward to me without asking yesterday (the 4th) but demaning to keep their identity private. this person told me that they KNOW Jen met a guy in G-Ville (Tony) and that he DEFINITELY spent the night the same night. catch 22 guys. some1 like Jen meets a guy in G-Ville like Tony and they spend the night in her room with the door closed all night. what the fvck am i SUPPOSED to think happened??? thats why im so distraught right now other than the fact i fvcked up by not letting go early enuf before things got out of hand. im confused as to whom to believe: my informant's view, my ex-girlfriend that spits on the ground i walk on, the mutual friend of me & Jen (Taylor) or none of the above.
omg this is getting long, its late, i gotta work in a couple hours.
any thoughts or feedback would be great. i cant do this alone and i dont WANT to be alone. all i want is her to stop HATING me with the passion she has inside of her right now. thats all i want from her @ this point in this MAJORLY fvcked up situation ive gotten myself into and partly to blame for it all.
im "signing off". peace.
...and if any1 has any curiousities to the origin of this, i do have that EasyJournal link if any1 is dedicated enuf to helping me out here.
The whole time this has been happening, I've really felt like I had no place to speak. However, since you've put it out here on a forum, I can't help but comment on all of this.
Yes, love CAN be a bitch. However, from my standpoint I do not believe what you had was love. You can put your heart and soul into it Joey( and I truly believe you did), but if she doesn't feel the same it's not love. It was not right of her to let you think that. Love is not a 50/50 thing, 100% must be put in from both parties. Yes it sounds cliche but sadly it's true.
The very FACT that she had been shady with you, and finding out that she had possibly cheated on you should just enrage you. I didn't even have a relationship with her and it makes me sick to my stomach! Joey, have some dignity and KNOW that she is not worth any heartache. She seemed so capricious and the very fact that she has the gall to get mad at you, is pathetic. Don't EVER get back with her. Is a cheating liar the kind of person you deserve to be with? Joey, you've been such a great friend to Tara, and although I don't know you as much as she, I can tell you're a great person. Great person + pathetic cheater is not a good mix. Due to that revelation, you should be glad you are not with her. Yes, I know your emotions say otherwise but with time you'll realize.
And don't be reckless. Yes you're worked up but if you're in a state of distress...you shouldn't be driving. You'll do irrational and careless things and frankly I'm a bit disappointed. Just be glad that nothing bad happened...
So what's the deal with this debt? And also...your life sucks only if you make it suck. Everyone at some point has been really down in the dumps but only you can take yourself out and have a positive attitude. I know I've been through a lot...if you want to know just ask Tara. But I mean...if you dwell on the negative so much, you can only be negative. Hit me up on AIM if you want, we don't talk as much as we should.
Joey, your post had me almost in tears. Though we've lost touch these last few months I hope deep down you've always known that I was here for you. We've gone through a lot, we used to always trade advices, had lots of fun times which patrick and I look forward to when I move up. It's not that you don't deserve Jen, it's that Jen doesn't deserve you. YOU didn't cheat, YOU didn't lie, YOU didn't do anything wrong. You were nothing but nice to her JOey, you know that. I know you've heard this so many times but why do backflips to just keep her happy. A relationship should be a mutual thing where both parties are giving in as much as they are recieving. You are a caring, loving person and without a doubt I know you gave in more than you were recieving.
Joey, god forbid if anything was to happen to you...it would end it all but did you think of how your parents would feel? or even relatives and friends. It's hard to get by right now but honestly life is hard. You go through so many things in life that make you want to give up but that's how you learn and you grow stronger. I understand that she was your first love but, if she is upset with you (I still do not see why), then you just gotta let her. You can't keep doing backflips to make her be friends with you. It's honestly not worth it. Give it time, if she wants to talk to you then fine let her apologize for the hurt and pain that she has caused you. You have no reason to apologize Joey, unless you want to apologize for being a sweet, innocent, caring guy who got taken advantage of. I really do care about you and it really makes me sick to my stomach when i sit here and read about how you think you are worthless.
I've had this talk with you before, you're almost done with your AA you have one last semester. You're doing something with your life, think about all the other kids you see doing drugs, drinking every night going no where. You took such a big step from taking a break from college and you went back. So many people who do that don't go back, but you were different joey.
Joey, let her get with that douchebag Tony. I really hope you dont think you deserve a girl who "cheated" on you, even had a guy over that spent the night while you guys were together, then got mad at you for expressing yourself in EJ? If she hates you then I hope that gives you an insight on what type of person she is. Think of all the wrong she has done and still she's the one "hating" you? Joey, I don't see how anyone can dislike you, only a heartless bitch who is only concerned with herself knowing that she's been breaking someone's heart and just breaking them down in general. There's really not much left to say, only 2 sayings that I always say...Karma is a bitch and what comes around goes around.
If you need any thing Joey, my cell phone and patrick's cell phone is always on. I'm hoping things will be back to normal, with the car meets, nose bleeds, parties, what you got under there? ..."Well i have some trees and chicken...", jellybeans, Ej books, driving on I-4, birthday bashes, wendy's ketchup cups, the 3am boys/girls bathroom talk, along with the tears that come with life. True friends are there no matter what, not just during the good times but during bad times. It's a life experience Joey, life is hard but that's what makes you a strong person and you're going to be alright.
Seriously... Im not gonna say nothing to you dude.. You shouldnt of bailed out on us and we wouldnt of bailed out on you. Youre the one that put yourself in such a vulnarbal position... There are times when you should sit back and think about the actions you take. I tried helping you in the earlier stage but you just stabbed right back at me. Yeah i was a hard ass on you but you never let me finish. Thats all im gonna say.. sorry you lost you friendship with most of us.. Maybe you will think twice next time about the things you say and do.
Seriously... Im not gonna say nothing to you dude.. You shouldnt of bailed out on us and we wouldnt of bailed out on you. Youre the one that put yourself in such a vulnarbal position... There are times when you should sit back and think about the actions you take. I tried helping you in the earlier stage but you just stabbed right back at me. Yeah i was a hard ass on you but you never let me finish. Thats all im gonna say.. sorry you lost you friendship with most of us.. Maybe you will think twice next time about the things you say and do.
Garcia
I dont know of the specific situation, but love can be a bitch, you can do things you would have never done otherwise.
My gf and I broke up 2 months ago, it has been very hard, I love her very much but I know it would have never been, like he said love has to be 100% on both sides, and when its just not there, it will never be there.
I wish I could tell you something that would help you out, but I cant.
ok joey, i don't know you but i do know what your going through. The only advise i can give you is that what you had was not love.. if you give anything more then the other person is, then it is not love. and you are right, you dont deserve a girl like Jen, you deserve BETTER. I know it may seem like the end of the world right now but trust me, you will make it through. i hope you feel better soon
I knoweveryone has typed out long entries and stuff, so mabye you wont even read mine, but I gotta throw down also. While all of us that know each other her personally and may joke around and make fun of each other.. but we all (I think even Garcia) have a special place in our heart for each other, including you. Tara and I have spent many nights and days talking about you, and even I, the 7th gen dork has been through (recently) what your going through.... Joey, you've GOT to be strong. Tara and I seriosuly beleieve that you, a person that has made us laugh, cry, and have some great moments, are better than all this. Jen, while what you may have experienced was "love" (none of us can tell you otherwise, that is your own decision to make) was not, and never will be "the one." Joey we saw you go from a great person to sorta "outta the game." While with her.. that's just not someone that should be dealt with. Secondly, the mere thought that she may have cheated on you is bad. You should never have any THOUGHT that your significant other is cheating on you....
I'm sorry to hear this bro, and I went through all my friedns and asked your same question when it happeend to me, but it's time to pick up your baggage, dust off your coat, and get on the train. I HONESTLY feel that everyone here will lend their support.... Time heals all wounds, Joey, even the ones that have been cut very deep.
U know what i got to say to ya bro, Im here for ya... and now u have a place to kick it if you need it. Im not going to say anything about "her" besides that you deserve better and ur better off with her feeling the way she feels about you right now anyway. You deserve the best! Now as of your friends... They will always be your friend, if they are giving up on you, then what kind of friends are they? All of us make mistakes, and LIFE happens, I hate to admit it but it does. All i can say, is continue to be their friends and its up to them to do the same thing back. and again a true friend will be there through thick and thin. Take it a day at a time man and I know you have tons of people to talk to, all you have to do is call, or show up. we're here for ya man and you better belive it. DAMMIT MAN!! im not a cop but mutha fukka im da man (for those who know what thats from) Joey ur stronger than you think you are, just breath, talk, and be open about what ur feeling and what u need ... Keep ur head up man, and i'll talk at ya laters,
you know, Chris, for the record, i wasnt the ONLY one to "bail" per se on the other party. and im not trying to offend you in any way but c'mon, you didnt go either. and apparently for BOTH of us, it turned out to be a consequence of something in the future. so please dont go pointing the finger ALL my way. thank you.
as for every1 else's comments, thank you. i appreciate you all. i was sitting here @ work reading them and the tears starting streaming lemme tell you what. kinda embarrassing if any1 saw, but no1 is practically here any more. God there is no work to be done. i almost wish this job WOULD end so i can find something else. lol.
but yah, i hear what all you guys are saying. all i ever wanted--once id realized how fizucked up things got--was to be respected as a person, thought of as a friend, not cursed to Hell and back twice, and not hated as much as she definitely does right now. thats all i ever asked from her. funny thing is; when she DID break it off in December, she always requested of me not to hate her and i granted that request without a second thought. i just dunno why she cant do the same....well, other than the fact that i might have already ruined her life in Gainesville. idk, that remains to be seen whether or not she's sensationalizing it a bit. either way, im SUUUURE this will turn more into a popularity thing than an embarrassment. we'll see. and im suuuure mister fvck-face Tony will "protect" her from the evil INTMO nazi's as they are so affectionately known as. douchebags!
anyways, i suppose i g2g back to work here...errr...find some that is. ill tty all later on i guess and thanks again for all the quick feedback. the length of some of these posts is very impressive indeed.
~Joey
p.s.- if any1 needs more of the "whole" story, im going to post my SN and password for www.intmo.com (then click on "forums") so you guys can logon if you wish and see how fizucked i was for posting what i did and talking to whom i talked to. ugh.
SN = iwannaEvoMR
password= EvolutionVIIIMR
the first thread is in "introductions" under my SN
the second thread is in "full of sh!t" and then under "the real jennifer polks" *cuz the douche that posted it put an S at the end of her name. dumbass.*
ALLLLLL i beg of you all is to NOT post EVER on the boards. PLEASE! the fvckin' nazi's hate me enuf already; not to mention Jen. btw, BOTH threads are locked...but still, DONT get the urge to post anything please. you WILL regret it believe me when i tell you this. this is for informative purposes only. also, dont forget to logout as soon as you are done browsing. if you get any PMs or messages of any kind, do not respond. thank you again. that is all.
p.s.- the password will only be good for a week from today. then it will be changed. just for security reasons. no hard feelings.
yah how's this for a "project" for $10/hr...my God.
i have a stack of paper to cut in 1/2 with a sh!tty old paper cutter. WOOOW...work is slooooow. heh this'll take all day. the uhh papercutter cuts a MAX of like 3 sheets once it breaks itself in. haha sucks for me.
Joey needs A LOT of help. (mental, physical, psychological) 
Super Member
(for those who know what thats from) Joey ur stronger than you think you are, just breath, talk, and be open about what ur feeling and what u need ... Keep ur head up man, and i'll talk at ya laters,
