(Please read and help!! i'm a noob in need

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yea, my 04' civic dx is my first 5-speed and the second manual transmission car i ever drove. btw, i've only driven since last summer so not a complete year yet. but yea, ever since i started learning stick, i was always wondering if i drove correctly since i had a constant fear of burning the clutch. my engine is about to hit 15k miles and nothing wrong as of yet (am i doing good so far?? heh...)
but yea, sometimes i am forced to ride the clutch (only in 1st or 2nd) when in traffic since there's a lot of slowing down and stopping and going. is this normal?? i mean i can't help it because if i don't press down the clutch, i feel the engine shaking since the rpms are low. btw, i have a dx so i don't have a tachometer (btw, i want to get one, what's a good aftermarket brand?)
another thing that bothered me was downshifting....there's always debate on this and i never found peace of mind in this topic. basically there were 3 ways to slowing down:
1) leave it as is and just use the brake and press the clutch when reaching a stop
2) put the car in neutral and brake
3) downshift to help the car slow down and brake
for some reason i always do #3 since it helps me the most when slowing down. also, i never downshift to 1st; i usually downshift to 3rd but i sometimes go to 2nd when i need extra stopping power. however, i think i'm wearing out the clutch faster by doing so. doing option #1 and 2 wear out the brakes faster too. but i think i should do those instead since brake pads are cheaper than a new clutch....
but yea, is downshifting bad??? well when i downshift, i press the brake a little bit and then downshift and release the clutch slowly so it doesn't jerk or redline (i don't have a tach so i can tell its redlining by the sound)
but yea, i would like to know some helpful advice from experienced drivers on how to use the clutch effectively and efficiently....
also, i gas a little when shifting from first to second so i don't jerk. for gears 3-5, i let go of gas completely. however, i think gassing when shifting improves the acceleration right? but then it will burn the clutch faster....(i'm so confused!!!)
so does anyone know a good aftermarket clutch? i always seemed interested in those sports/racing clutch kits since i assumed they can take a lot of punishment. and since i don't drive my car hard or race it, it might last long....
but yea, TECHNINE's experience just showed me that i have to be more aware of my driving and i need to learn how to replace a clutch on my own because 900 dollars is insane. yes, i'm a teenager and a minimum wage job won't get that kind of money fast....haha.
thanks in advance for the advice