The college life

[Blue_Honda_Civ]

hello i was just looking for advice from some people. I am heading off to college this year and i am a pretty shy person but i want to get away from that but i have a fear of what people think of me. Any advice would be helpful i don't want to follow the path i had in high school. I want to be able to talk with females that i don't know, and actually get a few dates, also afraid of rejection. Any helpful ideas would be apreciated.

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[DVnAFI]

Be yourself. Its not worth acting like someone else to try to impress someone. College life is way different than high school. Its more mature. You'll be suprised on how people are. Rejection can be a biotch, but, it happens. You just have to move forward and find another fish in the sea, there are plenty!

Keep ya' head up!

[jfan]

Let me tell you that college is a whole new world compared to high school. You now are more independent and have a lot more freedom, and this is nice when there are that many more people to interact with in college. You're probably gonna meet a ton of new people, with all different kinds of backgrounds. If you want to, you could also rush for a fraternity, I think it's a great way to meet new people too. Just have fun in college but keep up your schoolwork.

[Milamber]

drinking a lot always make ya less shy

[88AccordDX]

Originally Posted by DVnAFI

Keep ya' head up!

And kick that dirt off ya shoulders.

[Blue_Honda_Civ]

thanks for the advice i dont think there are any fraternities and the freshamn class size is relativley small 350 or so, so there arent to many people

[AR]

Yeah the college experience is much better and way different from high school. Enjoy it.

Just remember to live a little and have fun. School can sometimes be stressfull, but don't let school use you. Live it up. That's how I try to think of it.

As far as girls... Don't worry man. You'll make plenty of friends that will have plenty of friends that are girls. You will get to know some and you'll get to hang with them... and if things work out, the right one will come along and you'll ask them out.

Just be you. Oh and telling them about your civic will help too! A civic owner in college gets women/men by the dozens! no lol, jk!

[maxsin]

Drink.

[daydreamer]

don't worry about it...at college you will find a group of friends just like you...trust me...i was a shy person in high school too and didn't get on many dates or anything like that, but once college it i found friends that were like me and i became more confident which resulted in more dates...woot woot...so dont worry about it and you will be fine

[haiku]

yesh, there are a lot of ladies out there in college. As I said on another thread it's an awesome place to hook up.

Important thing is to get a good base of friends. Do what you like doing in terms of social activities... you'll be bound to get a female friend here or in one of your classes. That's a great way to start. Think about things you have in common and go from there. Find out what she's into without making it seem like a job interview. Don't be desperate... be willing to say adios if the feedback is bad or make a lifelong friend if it's great.

If you make enjoying yourself (in moderation )a priority, it's really tough to go wrong.

cheers

[Master]

Here is my advice, I was just like you in high school, very shy. Then I got to college and wanted to change. I then realized that I shouldn't give a f^ck if others reject me. I would be off the walls all the time, the people that didn't like that told me, and I told them to f^ck off or get over it. And they respect you after that.

[monkey]

I was shy when I came to college and I'm shy now, but I have a great boyfriend and I've met a lot of people in the two years I've been going.

The most important and most valuable lesson I can give you is to do everything you can to NOT cling to a small group of people your first year. I can almost guarantee that you'll get screwed in the end because everyone branches off and you're back to square one. If you ask college counselors, you'll most likely hear how that is a huge problem among incoming freshmen...they find people they're mildly compatible with, form a very tight group, and realize by the end of the year - or earlier - that they totally don't work together and are "friends" only so that they won't be alone.
And I can tell you from experience that you want to avoid that at all costs.
Do what you can to meet the people on your floor, or in your entire dorm. From there, you meet people in classes and extracurriculars (a gold mine, I swear. it's the best way to meet people you'll dig) and start forming a web of people you know.

Remember that it's okay not to have a bestbestbest friend in college - but it's not okay to not have anyout of lack of trying...you have to put the effort in, and you'll reap the rewards. Your entire freshman class is just a swarm of people exactly like you, completely self conscious and scared to go out and find friends.

Kick yourself in the ass and go - no one will be there to do it for you.

[civic01vtec]

i was the same way u were..........join a fraternity, u will change more than you ever could think possible. Go to rush and check them out and pledge a respectable franternal organization and you won't regret it ever

[Got Boost???]

Ok ask yourself this question

If someone (a normal looking person) came up to you and tried to start a conversation, would you talk to them or would tell them to get lost?

More then likely you'll talk to them.

What you have to understand is that EVERYONE is looking to meet new people but almost EVERYONE is shy like you. All you need to do is break the ice. Just this past Tuesday I was at the coke machince and it was being stubborn. When a guy approached me and we talked about, of all things that damn coke machine. The moral of the story is that because this guy decided to break the ice, he is no longer a nameless face in the crowd, he is someone that I stop and talk to when I see him walkinh inbetween classes. The chances of someone completely blowing you off if you try to start a converstaion with them are slim. The people that DO blow you are most likely stuck back in the day when they were the most popular kid in highschool and didnt need to make friends cause in thyre minds everyone looks up to them.

If you really want to do something about you people skills get a job at a retail store. Try Hollister, Gap or Abercrombie and Fitch. Working at retail places will force you to talk to people and will force you to get over your fear of what people think of you. I used to work at Abercrombie and Fitch while I was a fairly social person before having a job like that forces you to walk up to people ,usually girls, youve never seen before and talk to them. Even just walking up to complete strangers and saying "Hi how you doing?" will do wonders for your social skills, you find new ways for saying Hi, you learn to judge reactions very easily. Working there helped me find conversation starters very easily you'll start to notice little things that are unique to each person that can easily start a conversation between you two.

[VietGuy949]

when you go to college you will find out that people are just people, just like you and me...be yourself, never be something else to appease someone else's standards...if you are someone that chooses to be isolated then thats one thing, but it sounds like you have motives to get out there and exerpience new people and things...i wouldnt say joining a frat is something you MUST do since im not in a frat...but i am part of the lgba of my school and i met a lot of cool cool people there...dont be afraid of rejection...this is gonna sound wierd but once you are able to love yourself for who you are you wont worry about others not liking you...when you realize that you can be fine on your own and independant (which is something college gives you) and when you figure out that your fine the way you are as a person and a character then you'll put down that wall you have that makes it so others cant see you, and when you do this you will have people want to approach you and befriend you and people who wont...thats life, not everyones gonna like you but whats most important is that you like yourself...also calm down...their just other people obtaining a college education, most of the clicks that you saw in high school (the cool group, jocks, geeks, ethnics) are pretty much not there and if they are then the people are pretty open...if not and those people are closed and exclude others then they are dumb and you shouldnt waste your time with people like that...college is all about being collegiate, working and collaborating with others, its a place where you can put forth your own ideas for what their worth and be who you are as a unique intellectual being, so be that person, be yourself, and think to yourself...it doesnt matter what they think of me, it just matters of what i think of me...and youll be set