... keeps saying that she's fat, even though she's not. I see no difference from before and now. She is 5'4 and weighs 97-100 lbs 19 yrs. old. Is that fat? Certainly not! Whenever she trips about her being "fat" I get annoyed and tell her to workout (cardio for fat burning and tone her stomach by doing simple crunches); she worries more on her stomach. Argh! Just awhile ago she told me to go because she was crying the fact that she's "fat". Argh! According to the BMI calculator, she's "underweight". Someone please tell me what should I do and tell her what she should do. Btw, she sometimes check the forum too... Oh yeah, below are three pics of her.
2 pics of her a couple of years ago.
Most recent pic of her approx. a year ago. She's at the bottom left. For the people who's wondering... Yeah, she has a twin sister.
There may be an underlying problem or some event that might have triggered her response. As you mentioned, according to the BMI, she's underweight.
Clearly, something is bothering her, and you should talk to her and find out what it is. I'm a little worried since the really early stages of anorexia or bulimia would begin with this type of response. Don't be alarmed yet however.
Have a talk with her, and find out what is wrong.
Hope this helps man...
Last edited by CdnSilverStreak : 06-23-2004 at 08:05 PM.
^^^ Hahah, her sister's taken already. Sorry man. LoL.
Anyway, about underlying problems, there really aren't any... Our relationship is fine, her studies are doing great and her family is fine, basically everything is fine. I asked her, "why do you feel fat?" She said, "coz i look in the mirror and i see it, literally its there." I can't convince her that she isn't fat. She doesn't want to workout in the house because she feels embarassed in front of her family even in the garage. I told her, it's usually like that for the first time, which is true, because not only I experienced it but my friends and teacher for weight training as well. I don't know what I should do. Thanks fer the reply.
EDIT:
She's not worried about the weight, she's worried about the body fat.
eh, it's possible that there are issues that you aren't aware of and she's keeping to herself. in fact, they might be issues in her head that she isn't even aware of.
one of my best friends when i was younger used to obsess over her calories and weight and "fat" and this girl was the twiggiest thing you'd ever seen. seriously, it was actually pretty gross. but it turned out that her biggest problem was that her parents split when she was a baby and she was always shuffled between the different homes in varying states because each parent moved all over the place. in the end, her image was all she could control by herself. but it doesn't seem like that's the case with your girlfriend.
as much as i can understand being a girl and seeing fat that other people say they don't see, i've never been good at dealing with skinny girls who cry over being fat. it's very possible that she's got some internal issues that would be best dealt with in therapy, but then again maybe she just doesn't have the self esteem she needs. someone telling you that you aren't fat really doesn't do it. I don't even know what does. I guess just a lot of sincere compliments on how she looks.
and if she's just worried about visible fat, then yea tell her to get to the gym. i would complain about the "flab" under my arms, but i have no right because i know if i just liften weights a few times a week there would be no problem. if she doesn't want to giggle, tell her to tone herself up.
the most important thing is that it isn't your sole responsibility to get her to change her mind. you need to be supportive and point her in the direction that will help her to change herself, by herself.
FOR ONE! You should NOT tell her to "just work out"...*hiss* Shame on you! Now she thinks YOU think that shes fat.
That's one thing that always made me so mad. I'm not overweight or under...I'm right where I should be but the women in my family have a small lower abdominal thing that we have to work 24/7 on cuz' its just aggravating. I fuss about it cuz' I know my tummy will never be completely tiny and flat. And that's fine! Means my body can support having a kid or two. But, for some chicks its just not heard of!
You need to just hug her and tell her that she's perfect. If she's worried then you need to try and show her that you love her the way her body is. And then tell her if she did get heavy that you would STILL love her. She's afraid you and everyone she loves will hate her or say horrible things about her if she gets heavy. I did when I was 18...I dropped almost 40lbs in 6 months because I felt horrible. But, I realized that it didnt' matter.
If she can understand that no matter how she looks you'd still love her then I promise she'll stop being so hard on herself.
But, some girls don't. If you think she could possibly have a disorder and try to hurt herself by dieting and stuff you really need to get her help. This type of behavior leads to eating disorders that can lead to health problems.
i dont think there is any harm in suggesting working out, as long as she knows you're suggesting it as a solution to her own self image problem, as opposed to your opinion. i would hope that you'd already know to tell her how perfect and beautiful she is to you.
Hey all. Thanks fer all the advice. Actually the reason why she thinks she's fat it's coz she doesn't have much confidence in herself. I actually did not tell her to werkout out of the blue nor I told her to werkout after she said she fat. I told her that she looked perfect and that she has nothing to worry about. I specifically said, if you feel like that no matter how much I tell you how you beautiful you are to me, then you may want to werkout to biuld confidence in yourself. I even tried to train her. Sometimes we run now and then. Well, right now, so far so good. Thanks again all.
this is just a guess....from the pictures...it looks she has less BODY FAT then me....and im 5'5 125lbs work out 5 days a week, run 3miles a day/ 3 days a week!
i would suggest u...slap her and say 'UR NOT ****ING FAT, NOW STOP ****ING STOP TALKING ABOUT IT"
hahah i want to do that to my friend....she in like the same situation....it annoys the shit out of me.
O yea. if she still feels like she s fat.....take her running.....it will mentally helps her.
eh...iunno really...when girls complain to me about being fat when they are smaller than i am (and i'm small) i just tell them yes they are fat and they need to shut it cause i don't wanna hear it (guess that's kinda mean but they stop complaining about it)...but those are girls that just want attention...iunno why they even complain to me about it...
i think you should just sit down with her tell her she is beautiful and that she really doesn't need to worry about anything like that
this is just a guess....from the pictures...it looks she has less BODY FAT then me....and im 5'5 125lbs work out 5 days a week, run 3miles a day/ 3 days a week!
i would suggest u...slap her and say 'UR NOT ****ING FAT, NOW STOP ****ING STOP TALKING ABOUT IT"
hahah i want to do that to my friend....she in like the same situation....it annoys the shit out of me.
O yea. if she still feels like she s fat.....take her running.....it will mentally helps her.
running sucks she's not fat, just paranoid. all grls say theyr'e fat cuz they're fishin for compliments.
1. The BMI calculator is not accurate for some people. If you have any substantial muscle mass, it will say you are overweight. BMI was made by some doctors to apply to everyone, and you just can't do that. You've seen my pics, and BMI says I've overweight. So whatever. A more accurate scale would be bodyfat %, or JUST LOOKING IN THE MIRROR.
2. All girls think they're fat. This is because the media portrays anorexic heroin addicted toothpick models with no hint of femininity as being "sexy."
3 Your gf isn't fat. 100lbs @ 5'4" is pretty skinny, actually.
So, she's either saying it because 1) she has a complex (most likely, because most girls do) or 2) because she's trying to get attention from you. Do you tell her she looks good?
j/k...
Shame on you! Now she thinks YOU think that shes fat.
That's one thing that always made me so mad. I'm not overweight or under...I'm right where I should be but the women in my family have a small lower abdominal thing that we have to work 24/7 on cuz' its just aggravating. 
I fuss about it cuz' I know my tummy will never be completely tiny and flat. And that's fine! Means my body can support having a kid or two. But, for some chicks its just not heard of!
she's not fat, just paranoid. all grls say theyr'e fat cuz they're fishin for compliments.
